Coming up soon are my storyboards! For now, I present the second draft of my script. It's my final idea (still birds, OF COURSE), but this draft of the script is carried by an annoying voice-over that WON'T exist in the final draft. Feedback from some of my fellow film majors helped me determine what I already knew: that voice-overs/parodies are usually cop-outs, and mine had both, as you will see. In the final draft, the same action will speak for itself--hopefully without dialogue to boot.
The short follows a group of male birds on the hunt for a worm. They aren't messing around--they've got orange vests, camouflage, ammunition, decoys, the whole nine yards. But when they finally lure in a monster earthworm, a female swoops down and yanks the worm out of the dirt without batting an eyelid. The hunters, accordingly, claim to have let 'im go.
Again, please excuse the formatting issue. Thanks!
Extreme Worm Hunter
written by Emily DeVault
FADE IN:
ext. backyard - day
A few trees stand enclosed by a white fence. Flower pots rest at their bases. A bird feeder sways from one limb.
narrator (v.o.)
It’s that time of year again.
close - grass
A worm lies behind a flower.
narrator (v.o.)
Time to leave the nest in search of big game.
extreme closeup - worm
It faces the CAMERA.
ext. backyard - day
Four robins -- DAVE, CHUCK, ANDY, and ROD -- load up with
hunting gear.
rod (narrator) (v.o.)
Dave, Chuck, Andy and I are headed to Mrs. Jones’ backyard,
known for its big --
close - worm
Writhing.
rod (v.o.)
Fat --
close - worms
Crawl past the CAMERA.
rod (V.o.)
Juicy earthworms.
close - dirt patch
Four pairs of bird feet tromp over the mud.
rod (v.o.)
With our mates waitin’ for us back at our nests, we bring
home the meat that’ll feed our families.
Rod and Andy trudge INTO FRAME.
rod (v.o.)
It’s almost night when we get there. Right away we set up roost.
Andy struggles with a makeshift tent. Rod surveys camp through binoculars.
ext. campsite - night
The four hunters encircle a crackling flame. Chuck cleans his rifle.
rod (v.o.)
Around the campfire Dave tells some of his legendary stories
of the hunt.
Andy and Rod lean in.
dave (o.s.)
He came up outta the dirt -- musta been nine inches
long. I lined ‘eem up in my sights...
Chuck looks on as Dave pantomimes the action.
dave
He wasn’t gonna give me a good shot. But I waited ‘eem out.
ext. backyard - day
Dripping maple leaves catch the sunlight.
rod (v.o.)
It rains that night.
Next morning there’s mud and puddles
everywhere -- ideal conditions.
Andy lugs a stuffed worm across the grass.
rod (v.o.)
Andy knows there’s a worm nearby. He brings out our decoy.
Andy crams the worm into a hole in the mud. He gives a thumbs-up to the CAMERA.
Andy joins the others behind a brush patch.
rod (v.o.)
It’s only a matter of time.
The hunters peer over the brush.
hunters’ pov
The dirt behind the decoy breaks. Out crawls a beefy earthworm.
andy (o.s.)
(hushed)
Right there --
rod (o.s.)
I see him.
The worm drags itself through the muck.
rod (v.o.)
He’s a monster!
back to scene
Rod raises his rifle.
Takes aim.
rod (v.o.)
I wait for the perfect shot.
The worm crawls on, oblivious.
Rod tenses. Angling toward the
decoy, the worm exposes its side.
close -rod
Rod’s alula squeezes the trigger.
hunters’ pov
A female robin swoops down INTO FRAME. She snags the worm by the throat, yanks it
from the dirt, and flies OUT OF FRAME, all business.
back to scene
Rod and crew gape in her wake.
rod (v.o.)
(beat)
I decided to let him go.
fade out.
THE END
(c) 2013 Emily DeVault
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